Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Boobs are out for the taking
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
