K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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