You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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