Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Why is your signature on my underwear?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
