Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
