I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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