I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
