I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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