Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Let's get the cat blown out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
