Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize