you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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