margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
