I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
