I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
