So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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