Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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