i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
