alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
