Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
