I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
