We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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