I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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