And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
