I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No subtext here. People are naked.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
