Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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