I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
