Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
