do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
