this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
