Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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