Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
