Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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