we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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