what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
