He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
