i don't like sucking hair
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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