holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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