I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
