a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
