I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
