I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
