I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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