I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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