Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
