Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
