...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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