Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
