I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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