seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
