I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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