yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
