How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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