He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
