plz talk dirty to me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
