who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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