FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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