Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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