i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
