dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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