3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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