I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize