So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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