Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
