I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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