Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
